Why Does My Husband Seek Female Attention

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By Timileyin Olanrewaju


Do you want answers to why your husband seeks female attention? This article will help your cause and provide possible solutions.

We start by discussing several reasons your husband may pursue women’s attention. Then, I will offer multiple ways to deal with the situation.

Additionally, a section explains when the attention-seeking habit becomes problematic in a marriage.

Finally, there is an FAQ section with answers to common questions related to the topic.

Reasons Your Husband Desires Women’s Attention

Why Does Your Husband Pursue Women's Attention

Men often seek attention from women for various reasons, even when married. However, knowing the exact cause of the behavior is the first step to combating it.

Here are some possible reasons your husband may want female attention.

1. Insecurity

When someone lacks self-worth, they look to others to prove themselves worthy. If your husband is insecure, he will crave attention from other women to feel confident and better about himself.

This, however, does not necessarily mean you are not enough for him. It’s just a matter of him feeling better the more attention he gets.

Besides, one’s insecurities may stem from the fear of failure.

So, instead of recognizing his strengths, your husband may stick to this habit to justify his sense of perfection.

2. He May Be Narcissist

Narcissists mostly have a personality disorder that compels them to seek special attention and affection.

Furthermore, they place an unrealistic importance on themselves, as established by ncbi.nlm.nih.gov.

Consequently, they require immediate attention in most places they find themselves. In this case, your husband may have this personality trait and seek admiration from other women.

Lack of empathy and a sense of entitlement are also indicators to prove whether your husband is a narcissist.

3. He Is Bored Of The Marriage

While marriage is excellent in many ways, some people may find adjusting to its commitments challenging and boring.

According to relationship expert John Gottman, marrying too young can result in boredom. Another common cause is not receiving enough attention from one’s partner.

In these situations, your husband may crave attention from other ladies. He may find excitement in pursuing attention and talking to women to escape boredom.

4. Wants To Flirt

Flirting is a behavior associated with seeking attention from others. So, if your husband desires to flirt, it may lead him to seek attention from other women.

However, depending on your boundaries, flirting can be considered cheating.

Nonetheless, most people would agree that married couples should refrain from this behavior outside of the marriage. This is because it can lead to jealousy and negatively affect the union.

5. Lack of Emotional Support

Comfort, words of affirmation, encouragement, and understanding are vital aspects of emotional support in a marriage. These things become crucial when your husband struggles with certain things.

Hence, if your husband doesn’t get enough emotional support from you, he may likely seek other women’s attention.

When Does Attention-Seeking Habit Become A Problem In A Marriage

When His Attention-Searching Habit Becomes a Problem

While this habit may initially seem harmless, boundaries become necessary at some point. It poses a significant threat when he craves ladies’ attention too much and disregards your feelings.

Also, it’s problematic when you are the only one who seems to care about his behavior. Additionally, it’s a significant issue if he tries to gaslight you whenever you bring up the situation.

His refusal to be accountable for his actions and make adjustments might bring resentment. That’s a sign the marriage might be on the brink of ending, according to a study cited by regain.us.

Ultimately, if his behavior starts to damage your emotional well-being, it may be time to consider your options.

How To Deal With Your Husband’s Attention-Seeking Habit

Dealing with this habit from your husband can be very challenging. The good news is that there are practical approaches to deal with it.

They include:

1. Stay Calm and Understand His Motives

Jumping to conclusions is not always the best approach to a problem.

So, after recognizing this behavior from your husband, try to understand his motives. By discovering what is in it for him, you can take a better approach to dealing with it.

2. Offer More Emotional Support

Emotional support is the basis of most healthy relationships. According to marriage.com, happy and long-lasting marriages thrive on commitment, love, kindness, acceptance, and communication.

Therefore, be your husband’s source of inspiration. Also, try to be available as much as possible to provide comfort and support.

When you assure him of your love, it strengthens your bond and fosters emotional closeness. This, in turn, reduces the risk of your husband seeking attention from other women.

3. Maintain Good Communication

Having good communication in a relationship often removes the annoyance of being misunderstood. When communicating with your husband, be honest and expressive without intimidation.

Along with that, be attentive and actively listen. You must create a space to make your husband know you value his thoughts and opinion sincerely.

4. Speak His Love Language

Another way to deal with this habit from your husband is to speak his love language. According to Seventeen.com, popular love languages include physical touch, quality time, and words of affirmation.

These love languages may make your husband focus on you rather than seeking other ladies’ attention.

5. Discuss The Issue And Its Impact

When you feel your husband’s desire for female attention is excessive, you must talk to him. Surprisingly, he may be unaware of the consequences and how it can negatively affect your marriage.

So, let him know your observations and how it affects you. Be sure to express your feelings and mention your interest in solving the issue.

If he has an explanation, ensure to hear him out. Then, decide on the best course of action you can agree on.

6. Talk To A Marriage Counselor

Talking to an expert can help you navigate the situation to reach common ground. Marriage counselors are trained in resolving conflicts and providing unbiased views.

According to a recent survey by forbes.com, 49% of married couples resort to marriage counseling at some point during their marriage. You only have to ensure you choose a qualified counselor with an excellent track record.

Frequently Asked Questions

1. Is Seeking Attention From Others While In A Relationship Cheating?

It can be considered cheating depending on your boundaries in the relationship. Over time, it can become emotional infidelity as it progresses to intimacy with others outside your relationship.

2. What To Do If Your Husband Has A Wandering Eye?

If your husband often shows interest in others, he has a wandering eye. To resolve this issue, share your honest concerns with him, engage in intimate activities, or get professional help.

3. What Signs To Look For If You Think Your Partner Is Cheating?

If your partner is cheating, you may experience a decrease in communication and changes in behavior. You may also find him avoiding intimacy and giving a short account of his daily activities.

4. Is It Normal For A Married Man To Have Feelings For Another Woman?

No, it is not normal. However, it is not uncommon for married men to have feelings for another woman.

5. How Do I Know If My Husband Really Loves Me?

Determining whether your husband really loves you revolves around several factors. These include a great show of affection, spending quality time together, absolute trust, and supportive behavior.


The thought of your husband seeking female attention may seem overwhelming. However, it is essential to remain calm.

Knowing the exact reason for his behavior may help find a resolution.

Fortunately, this article explains several possible causes of this behavior, including insecurity and lack of emotional support. We also discussed various practical ways to deal with the habit.

Above all, one’s right to happiness shouldn’t be at the expense of the other. Hence, a married couple must learn to support each other physically and mentally for a healthy union.

We hope you find this article helpful. We would appreciate sharing it with your friends on social media if you did.

For more helpful articles like this, please visit our Relationships page.

References and Further Reading

  1. answeroll.com – Why Does My Husband Seek Female Attention? 5 Possible Reasons!
  2. howtogetover.com – Why Does My Husband Seek Female Attention?
  3. meetfusion.com – 7 Reasons Why Does My Husband Seek Female Attention (Solved).
  4. forbes.com – Does Marriage Counseling Work?
  5. loveconnection.org – Why does my husband seek female attention? 13 big reasons.

About the Author

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Timileyin Olanrewaju

Timileyin is a Content Writer at ilifeguides.com. He has a B.Sc. in Computer Science. Timileyin loves movies, video games, gadgets, and embraces a quality lifestyle. At ilifeguides.com, he writes relationship articles.

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