Why Does My Girlfriend Hate Me

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By Temitope Aro


Does your girlfriend hate you, but you don’t know why or how to overcome the situation? Reading this article should relieve stress and provide a way out.

While your girlfriend might dislike you for several reasons, the first section explores the leading causes. Then, I will explain several actions to take in such a scenario.

After that, we will discuss when hatred is considered too much in a relationship.

Finally, I will offer an FAQ section, answering common questions about this topic.

Reasons Your Girlfriend Dislikes You

Reasons My Girlfriend Dislikes Me

There are several things in a relationship that could lead to hatred. Ideally, love is the basis of a relationship, but a single factor can turn everything sour.

According to this psychological journal, love, and hate are psychological effects humans exhibit in relationships. The journal also states that a healthy relationship flourishes with greater love.

Hence, if hate overpowers love, it can lead to severe issues or the end of the relationship. So, the first step to avoid such a fate is to identify why your girlfriend dislikes you.

The following discusses some of the likely causes of this problem.

1. Over-controlling Attitude

Trying to control your girlfriend without giving her breathing space can make her detest you. For instance, excessive influence on her career, dressing, and interaction with others can make her develop hateful feelings.

Ultimately, a girl wants to be in control of her life with little influence from her boyfriend. Thus, she might start to dislike you if you prevent her from achieving that.

2. Not Paying Attention To Her

Girls love attention, and spending quality time with your girlfriend strengthens your relationship. Otherwise, she may begin to dislike you and even consider ending the relationship.

For example, chatting with your friends for long periods or staying longer at your job can make her resentful.

3. Past Experience

Your girlfriend might be haunted by her poor relationship choices in the past. This may hinder her from trusting you.

Therefore, it might seem your girlfriend hates you even though this might not be intended.

4. You Don’t Take Her Seriously

Your girlfriend might have complained about certain things, but you didn’t bother to listen. Her words are taken lightly, and you feel she is too dramatic.

Doing this makes her believe she isn’t important and her words are meaningless. Therefore, she might eventually dislike you.

5. Depression

According to psychiatry.org, depression often leads to many emotional challenges, such as sadness, low self-esteem, and self-hatred. These emotions can make it difficult for your girlfriend to feel positive or express affection towards you.

Therefore, it may seem she hates you. However, you should remember that her condition influences her emotions rather than her true feelings.

What To Do When Your Girlfriend Resents You

When your girlfriend despises you, consider it an opportunity to get to know her better. Below are some things that can potentially fix the problem.

1. Openly Communicate With Her

Talk to your girlfriend instead of dwelling on the fact that she hates you. It is common knowledge that effective communication is the key to a successful relationship.

Thus, initiate a sincere and open conversation with your girlfriend about her resentful feelings towards you. Create a safe environment where she feels comfortable sharing her emotions without fear of criticism.

Listen to her viewpoint, seek clarification, and demonstrate empathy and understanding.

2. Rebuild Trust

Trust is compromised when there is any form of hatred in a relationship. So, to rebuild the relationship, focus on rebuilding trust.

Hence, you must be reliable, consistent, and honest in your words and actions. Furthermore, keep your promises and demonstrate that you can be trusted through your actions.

Finally, you need to be patient, as rebuilding trust takes time and consistent effort.

3. Apologize And Take Responsibility

If you contributed to why your girlfriend hates you, offering a sincere apology is essential. Accept accountability for your actions and recognize the suffering or discomfort you may caused her.

Most importantly, show genuine remorse. To give more detail, make it clear that you understand the effect of your behavior and are committed to making amends.

4. Pay More Attention To Her

Spending quality time with your girlfriend is an expression of love. This was stressed in a popular book by Gary Chapman – The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heart.

Hence, when you feel hatred from your girlfriend, you must dedicate more time to your relationship. By doing that, she may become more relaxed and loved.

Besides, some girls are attention seekers. Therefore, communicate and spend more time with your girlfriend to avoid hateful feelings.

5. Give Her Space If Needed

If your girlfriend needs space and time to process her emotions, respect her decision, and don’t fight it. Sometimes, people need time alone to reflect and regain their emotional balance.

So, be patient and understanding during this period. Also, assure her that you’ll be available whenever she is ready to discuss or seek support.

When Is Hatred Considered Too Much In A Relationship

When Is Hatred Considered Too Much In A Relationship

While there might be challenges in a relationship leading to hatred, certain behaviors are unacceptable. For example, when your girlfriend’s hatred towards you affects your mental health, you might want to reconsider your options.

Also, if your girlfriend still despises you after trying to work things out, her actions may be considered overboard.

Ideally, a relationship should be filled with love, mutual respect, and understanding. However, it is time to move on if hatred escalates to violence and physical or emotional abuse.

Ultimately, retaining your sanity in a relationship should be your priority. An unhealthy relationship without emotional bonding and efficient communication can harm both parties.

Frequently Asked Questions

1. How Do I Know If My Girlfriend Is Toxic?

You can tell if your girlfriend is toxic when she stops trusting you, has an over-controlling attitude, or lies frequently. Likewise, if every moment with her is unbearable, you may have a toxic girlfriend.

2. When Should I Leave A Relationship?

The main ingredients of a successful relationship revolve around love, respect, and effective communication. You may consider leaving if most of these factors are missing.

3. How To Know If My Girlfriend Is A Narcissist?

If your girlfriend thinks the world revolves around her, she is a narcissist. Also, if she is unwilling to recognize the feelings of others, she may be a narcissist.

4. Can My Girlfriend Suddenly Lose Feelings For Me?

Your girlfriend may lose feelings for you due to poor communication or unrealistic relationship expectations. Also, the lack of intimacy, mutual understanding, and possible side flings can contribute to the situation.

5. How Do You Know If Your Girlfriend Pretends To Love You?

You can tell if your girlfriend pretends to love you when she lacks emotional intimacy and keeps secrets. Also, if your girlfriend appears unconcerned about you, she may pretend to love you.


Hatred in a relationship is a complex and challenging issue. Moreover, several factors can make your girlfriend hate you, including depression.

While this problem may seem complicated, it must be handled with empathy. Gladly, this article provided several ways to combat this dreadful situation.

However, if the hatred leads to emotional or physical abuse, it might be best to call it a quit.

We hope you found this article helpful. If you did, we would appreciate it if you could share it with your friends on social media.

For more helpful articles like this, please visit our Relationships page.

Reference and Further Reading

  1. psychcrumbs.com – Why Does My Girlfriend Hate Me?
  2. relationcounseling.org – Why Does My Girlfriend Hate Me? Signs, Causes & 10 Solu.
  3. Betterhelp.com – I Don’t Understand — Why Does My Girlfriend Hate Me?
  4. Verywellmind.com – Why Does My Girlfriend Hate Me?
  5. wikihow.com – Why Does Your Girlfriend Hate You?

About the Author

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Temitope Aro

Temitope is a Content Writer at ilifeguides.com. She has a Bachelor of Science (B.Sc.) in Economics. Temitope is an entrepreneur and love interacting with people. At ilifeguides.com, she writes relationship articles.

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