What Kills Long-Distance Relationships

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By Timileyin Olanrewaju


Do you wonder what kills long-distance relationships? This article highlights several factors and practical steps to take.

I will start this article by explaining what a long-distance relationship is. Then, we will look at some factors that may wreck distant relationships.

Following that, we will discuss some effective approaches to maintaining a long-distance relationship.

Additionally, there is an FAQ section where I answer common questions about this topic.

What Is A Long-Distance Relationship

What is a Long-Distance Relationship

A long-distance relationship is a romantic union between two individuals physically separated by a significant distance. As the term “long-distance” implies, the couple can be in different cities, states, or countries.

In such a relationship, individuals mostly bond and communicate through phone calls, video chats, and text messages.

While many do not support this idea, anyone can find themselves in a long-distance relationship due to several factors. Some common factors include job change, military service, or schooling.

Nevertheless, some intentionally start a faraway relationship due to various reasons.

Factors That Kill Long-Distance Relationships

While some people have had healthy long-distance relationships, others may not be so lucky.

Below are several factors that kill long-distance relationships.

1. Inconsistent Communication

Communication is the key to maintaining a healthy relationship, especially with a long-distance one.

When a relationship begins, there is always a level at which you talk to your partner. A sudden change in communication routine may lead to doubt and uncertainty.

Even if your long-distance relationship is solid, inconsistent communication may kill the relationship. In fact, communication issue is one of the primary factors that break up relationships, as suggested by choosingtherapy.com.

2. Trust Issues

Trust issues occur when one has difficulty placing trust in others. This is likely to intensify when you are in a distant relationship, as hinted at by couplescoachingonline.com.

Since there is no frequent physical interaction, your partner may start to distrust you due to personal insecurities. The lack of trust may also come from one’s past experiences or low self-esteem.

Trust issues can also stem from the lack of transparency in the relationship.

3. Differences in Expectations

According to marriage.com, when a couple in a distant relationship has different expectations, it may drive them apart. For example, one partner may expect regular video calls while the other doesn’t think it is necessary.

While couples usually have different views, finding common ground is essential to maintaining a healthy relationship.

If a distant couple continually disagrees on how to relate to each other, it may damage the relationship.

4. Absence of Physical Intimacy

As stated by verywellmind.com, couples often require physical touch to increase their fondness for each other. Having a hand to feel, someone to hug, and a shoulder to cry on can boost one’s emotional strength.

Besides, a research study suggests around ten daily touches are necessary to maintain emotional health. Hence, when there is a prolonged physical absence in your partner’s life, it may cripple your long-distance relationship.

5. Financial Constraints

Another possible factor that can destroy a distant relationship is financial constraints. When both partners are not financially stable, it can affect how they contact or connect.

For example, they might find it hard to visit themselves as often as possible due to money issues. If such a situation continues for a long time, it may strain the relationship.

Moreover, independent.co.uk describes financial challenges as major factors that can cause arguments or rifts in any relationship.

How to Sustain a Long-Distance Relationship

How to Sustain a Long-Distance Relationship

Although your distant relationship may have challenges, you can lead a healthy one with the right nurturing.

Below are some strategies to help you maintain a long-distance relationship.

1. Talk More Often

As most people know, communication is an essential factor in any relationship. So, frequent conversations with your distant partner will help strengthen your bond.

Therefore, try to communicate with your partner as much as possible. Moreover, during your communications, ensure you are an active listener and remain attentive.

Furthermore, try not to be too insistent on a conversation. There may be times when you talk less and times when you talk more.

Ultimately, create time and be available to connect when you can.

2. Learn to Trust Your Partner

An author, William P. Young once wrote, “Trust is the fruit of a relationship in which you know you are loved.”

Having complete trust in your partner is considered by many as a great show of affection. Trusting your partner removes doubts, anxiety, and insecurities that may kill a long-distance relationship.

According to research data, 82% of people who have never been cheated on fully trust their partner. Hence, trusting your partner may likely prevent your partner from engaging in infidelity.

Overall, it is safe to say trust is a good catalyst for sustaining a distant relationship.

3. Visit your Partner Occasionally

How often you visit your partner depends on the nature or circumstances of your physical distance. However, whenever you can, try to pay a visit to your partner.

Choosingtherapy.com suggests physical intimacy is acknowledged as a factor that boosts the bond in a relationship.

4. Establish Clear Expectations

From the beginning of your long-distance relationship, have an open and honest conversation about your expectations. Discuss your needs, boundaries, communication modes, and long-term goals for the relationship.

By establishing clear expectations, both parties can gain a mutual understanding of how to navigate the relationship, as hinted by mentalhelp.net. This promotes open communication, reduces arguments, and creates a framework for building trust.

5. Resolve Misunderstandings Quickly

Misunderstandings are bound to happen in relationships as different perspectives come into play. However, try to address and resolve them promptly.

When you have a minor disagreement, find common ground and resolve it quickly. You can think of it as putting out a fire – the sooner you take action, the easier it is to extinguish the flames.

If misunderstandings continue to pile up, your long-distance relationship may weaken.

Frequently Asked Questions

1. How Do You Know When To End A Long-Distance Relationship?

Knowing when to end a long-distance relationship sometimes depends on individual feelings and expectations. Some may consider ending their distant relationships when there is no emotional bonding, distrust, or shared plans.

2. Is It Necessary To Talk Every Day In A Long-Distance Relationship?

Talking every day in a long-distance relationship depends on preference and expectations. Some couples might think it necessary to talk daily, while others might think otherwise.

3. Are Long-Distance Relationships Unhealthy?

No, they are not. However, they require commitment to make them work.

Besides, there are several cases of successful long-distance relationships.

4. Is It Fair To Break Up Because Of Long Distance?

That depends on the circumstances and the well-being
of the individuals involved. For instance, it might be okay if you don’t have the mental strength to keep up.

5. Is It Okay To Text Every Day In A Long-Distance Relationship?

Yes, it is totally okay to text every day in a distant relationship. However, that depends on the rules and expectations set in the relationship.


You may have started your long-distance relationship intentionally or found yourself in one due to circumstances. In any case, it takes time, effort, and commitment to maintain a healthy relationship with a distant partner.

However, several factors may kill your long-distant relationship. These include inconsistent communication, trust issues, and financial constraints.

Luckily, this article discusses several tips for sustaining a long-distance relationship.

Overall, like any relationship, challenges are bound to happen. Whether it works or fails depends entirely on both parties and the circumstances.

I hope you found this article helpful. If you did, we would appreciate it if you could share it with your friends on social media.

For more helpful articles such as this, kindly visit our Relationships page.

References and Further Reading

  1. bonobology.com – 9 Things That Kill Long-Distance Relationships
  2. markmanson.net – How to Survive a Long Distance Relationship
  3. marriage.com – What Kills Long-Distance Relationships? 10 Key Things
  4. nsouly.com – Things That Will Kill a Long-distance Relationship
  5. momjunction.com – 15 Long Distance Relationship Problems And Tips To Survive

About the Author

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Timileyin Olanrewaju

Timileyin is a Content Writer at ilifeguides.com. He has a B.Sc. in Computer Science. Timileyin loves movies, video games, gadgets, and embraces a quality lifestyle. At ilifeguides.com, he writes relationship articles.

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