What Are You Looking For In A Relationship

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By Oluwaseun Bamisile


What are you looking for in a relationship? If that’s a question you get asked or ask yourself, this article should be an exciting read.

I will start this article with a section that explains how to respond to the “What are you looking for in a relationship” question. Then, we will discuss several qualities to seek in a romantic partnership.

Meanwhile, we shall answer a couple of questions related to the article’s topic in our FAQ section.

How To Respond To “What Are You Looking For In A Relationship” Question

How To Respond To "What Are You Looking For In A Relationship" Question

When someone asks, “What are you looking for in a relationship?” they’re basically asking what qualities you want in a romantic partnership. Here’s how you can respond;

1. Reflect On Your Needs And Desires

Before you can adequately communicate your desires in a relationship, you need to understand them yourself. Reflecting on your desires and needs allows you to articulate your preferences clearly.

Hence, take some time to think about what you genuinely want in a relationship. Furthermore, consider your past experiences, what you value in a partner, and what makes you happy.

Doing that demonstrates self-awareness and the ability to communicate your expectations. These are vital for building a healthy and fulfilling relationship.

Remember, there’s no rush in this process. Therefore, take the time to truly understand yourself and what you’re seeking in a relationship.

2. Be Honest And Genuine

When responding to this question, it’s important to be sincere and honest. You should speak from your heart and say what you truly feel.

Additionally, it’s important not to pretend or say things you think the other person wants to hear. Be real and authentic in your response!

The key is to let your true thoughts and feelings guide your response rather than trying to sound impressive. Moreover, being honest and genuine is about creating a strong foundation of trust in any relationship.

When you’re sincere in your answers, it promotes open communication and helps the other person understand you better. Thus, you don’t have to be afraid to express yourself honestly when someone asks you what you’re finding in a relationship.

3. Start With Your Values

Values act as the guiding principles that mold your identity and your beliefs. They have a significant impact on how you relate to the world and the people in it.

In a relationship, discussing values essentially means sharing the things that are most important to you. It also includes qualities you desire in your partner.

Therefore, when asked this question, you should begin by discussing your values and what you prioritize in a relationship. For instance, if trust is important to you, you can say, “I value trust a lot. Being able to trust and be trusted by my partner is essential for me.”

It’s also helpful to explain why the value is important to you. After discussing your values, you can mention your long-term goals and how you’d like a partner to support those goals.

4. Keep It Simple

Remember to use simple words and phrases that clearly convey your thoughts. Keep your response straightforward when talking about what you’re looking for in a relationship.

Also, rather than mentioning all your desires in a partner, stick to the top three most important things, as suggested by wikihow.com. Additionally, don’t beat around the bush – say what you mean directly.

When you keep things simple, you ensure your message comes across clearly without confusion.

5. Ask Their Thoughts

After sharing your thoughts, you can turn the question back to them and ask what they want in a relationship. This helps keep the conversation balanced and shows your interest in their perspective.

It also helps create an open and engaging dialogue where both parties can express their feelings and expectations. You can smoothly transition by saying, “I’d love to hear what you’re looking for in a relationship as well.”

Things To Look For In A Romantic Partnership

In a relationship, there are important things to consider to ensure it’s healthy and positive. Here are some simple things to look for;

1. Respect

According to psychalive.org, respect is one of the most essential qualities to look for in a partner. Additionally, it is a fundamental aspect of a healthy relationship and serves as a cornerstone for a fulfilling partnership.

When you find respect in a relationship, it sets the stage for positive interactions and a strong emotional connection. Furthermore, it involves treating your partner in a way that values their feelings, opinions, and boundaries.

Moreover, respect creates a sense of trust between partners. When you treat each other with respect, you build a foundation of reliability and honesty.

This foundation fosters trust, feelings, and vulnerabilities, making it easier to share thoughts.

2. Emotional Maturity

Wikihow.com suggests that it is important to find a mature partner who can talk about their thoughts and emotions with you. Emotional maturity is a vital quality to seek in a relationship because it contributes to overall health, stability, and happiness.

When both partners possess emotional maturity, they are better equipped to navigate challenges. Also, they can communicate effectively and maintain a strong connection.

This is because emotionally mature individuals are capable of expressing their thoughts and feelings in a clear manner. Additionally, they are open to listening, understanding differing perspectives, and finding solutions to conflicts without resorting to anger.

3. Shared Values

Shared values are a significant factor when considering a relationship. Similar values and beliefs establish a solid foundation for mutual understanding, harmony, and long-term compatibility.

Moreover, marriage.com states that getting into a relationship with someone whose values differ from yours can be frustrating.  

Shared values often lead to shared life goals. When partners have similar priorities and aspirations, they can work together to achieve them, leading to a more supportive partnership.

4. Equality

Equality is a vital aspect to consider when seeking a partner in a relationship. An equal partnership is built on shared responsibilities and balanced power distribution.

Equality also encourages a high level of respect between partners. Essentially, each person’s opinions, feelings, and needs are valued and considered.

This fosters an environment of collaboration and support, leading to a healthy and fulfilling connection that benefits both partners.

5. Physical Attraction

While emotional and intellectual compatibility is vital, physical attraction adds an element of chemistry and connection. Hence, you should seek a partner you find physically and sexually attractive, as hinted by wikihow.com.

This can deepen emotional intimacy and overall satisfaction in the relationship.

Besides, according to lyonselite.com, physical attraction mostly creates the initial spark that draws two people together. It’s the catalyst that can ignite interest and curiosity about getting to know each other better.

Frequently Asked Questions

Frequently Asked Questions
1. What Should I Be Looking For In A Relationship?

In a relationship, you should seek honesty, trust, respect, and open communication. All that promotes a healthy and fulfilling romantic partnership.  

2. What Qualities Should A Woman Look For In A Man?

When a woman is looking for qualities in a man, it’s essential to consider factors that align with her values. However, some common qualities women seek in a man include respect, good communication, honesty, and faithfulness.

3. Is Physical Attraction Important In A Relationship?

Yes, physical attraction can play a role in sparking chemistry and enhancing intimacy. It complements emotional and intellectual connections.

4. What Does Emotional Maturity Mean In A Partner?

Emotional maturity involves the ability to communicate effectively, empathize, and handle conflicts constructively. It also involves taking responsibility for one’s emotions and actions.

5. Should I Look For Independence In A Partner?

Independence is important in a relationship, no doubt. A partner who values their individuality while making an effort in the relationship fosters a harmonious and encouraging dynamic.


What you’re seeking in a relationship is a combination of factors that align with your values, needs, and aspirations. It’s about finding a partner who complements your life meaningfully and contributes to your overall well-being.

The qualities you seek, such as respect and shared values, form the building blocks of a healthy and fulfilling partnership. Additionally, it reflects your desire for a supportive and loving relationship.

However, as you embark on finding the right partner, remember that each individual’s needs and preferences are unique. Thus, prioritize the qualities that resonate with you and contribute to a relationship that aligns with your vision for a happy life together.

We hope the information presented in this article has demonstrated its value to you. If you’ve found it helpful, we would appreciate it if you could consider sharing it on your social media.

If you’re interested in exploring related topics, we invite you to explore our Relationships page.

References And Further Reading

  1. wikihow.com – How to Answer “What Are You Looking For in a Relationship?”
  2. coaching-online.org – 100+ Best Answers: What Are You Looking For In A Relationship?
  3. psychalive.org – What to Look For in a Partner
  4. upjourney.com – How to Answer “What Are You Looking For in a Relationship?”
  5. stylecraze.com – 21 Things To Look For In A Partner For A Healthy Relationship
  6. ny.gov – What Does a Healthy Relationship Look Like?
  7. marriage.com – 10 Things You Should Look for in a Relationship

About the Author

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Oluwaseun Bamisile

Oluwaseun is the Lead Content Editor at Ilifeguides.com. He holds a National Diploma in Computer Science (currently studying part-time for his Higher National Diploma). An internet geek with a love for automobiles, he writes relationship articles, travel guides, and general life hacks on the site.

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