How To Turn The Tables When He Pulls Away

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By Oluwaseun Bamisile


Did your male partner pull away, and you’re wondering how you can turn the table? This article provides comprehensive insights and strategies to help you.

Starting this article is a section that explains several reasons he might become distant. Then, I will provide several tips to help you turn the tables in such a situation.

That’s not all; our FAQ section will provide answers to some of the questions people commonly ask related to this article’s topic.

Why He Might Become Distant

Why He Might Become Distant

When someone pulls away from a relationship, it can be a complex behavior with various underlying reasons. Moreover, it’s important to recognize that people are unique.

Therefore, the specific reasons for distancing themselves can vary significantly from one individual to another. However, here are some common explanations for why someone might pull away from a relationship.

1. Fear Of Vulnerability

When someone is afraid of becoming emotionally vulnerable, they are hesitant to let their guard down. Hence, they avoid revealing their true feelings to their partner.

This fear can stem from past experiences of being hurt or rejected. They may worry that if they express their emotions too openly, they will become more liable to potential emotional pain.

As a result, they might start to pull away to protect themselves emotionally. Besides, societal and cultural norms mostly prevent men from being vulnerable as it is often seen as a weakness.

However, as Brazilian lyricist and novelist Paulo Coelho de Souza said, and I quote, “The strongest love is the love that can demonstrate its fragility.” Moreover, letting your guard down fosters a stronger connection, as stated by

2. Communication Issues

Poor communication within a relationship can lead to misunderstandings and frustration. When one or both partners feel like their concerns are not being heard, they may become disheartened and withdraw emotionally.

This withdrawal can be a defense mechanism to avoid further conflict or disappointment. Besides, because the mode of communication varies, communication issue is often a challenge in most relationships.

For example, women often give subtle hints when they have concerns. Most men, on the other hand, believe in saying things the way they are, as hinted at by

This gap in communication style can lead to several misunderstandings and communication issues.

3. Past Trauma

Many individuals have experienced several traumatic events in their previous relationships. These traumas could include experiences like cheating, betrayal, or abuse.

Therefore, people who have gone through these traumas may develop coping mechanisms that involve emotional withdrawal. Moreover, the emotional scars from the traumas can make it difficult for them to fully trust or engage in a new relationship.

This can cause them to pull away as a way of self-preservation.

4. Lack Of Compatibility

Sometimes, as a relationship progresses, individuals may realize they are not as compatible as they initially thought. Additionally, they may discover significant differences in their values, beliefs, or life goals that make it challenging to align their future plans.

Differences in lifestyle preferences, such as social activities, hobbies, or routines, can also contribute to a lack of compatibility. This awareness can lead to doubts about the relationship’s long-term potential.

As a result, it can prompt the guy to distance himself to evaluate his feelings and your future together.

5. Stress And Life Changes

As stated by, when a man distances himself, it might have nothing to do with the relationship or you. To be more specific, external stressors can consume a person’s emotional energy.

These include demanding work responsibilities, family issues, or significant life changes like moving or career transitions. Hence, when faced with these stressors, individuals may temporarily pull away from their relationship to focus on handling these challenges.

How To Turn The Tables When He Withdraws From You

When your partner pulls away in a relationship, it can be challenging. However, there are steps you can take to turn the tables and work towards reestablishing a healthy connection.

Nonetheless, it’s important to approach this situation with empathy, patience, and effective communication. Here’s a detailed guide on how to navigate this scenario.

1. Self-Reflection

Before taking any action, it’s essential to engage in self-reflection. This means examining your own feelings, motivations, and desires within the relationship.

Ask yourself why you want to turn the tables and rebuild the connection. Are you committed to working through the issues, or is it a knee-jerk reaction to your partner’s withdrawal?

However, suggests giving him the benefit of the doubt. Additionally, assume he has a good reason for pulling away.

Nonetheless, assess your own emotional state and readiness for the challenges that may lie ahead. Self-awareness is the first step in understanding how you can contribute positively to the relationship’s well-being.

2. Give Space And Respect Boundaries

When your partner pulls away, it’s crucial to respect their need for space and boundaries, according to This step demonstrates emotional maturity and understanding that people sometimes need time to process their thoughts independently.

Pressuring them to engage when they’re not ready can push them further away. Therefore, even though it may seem difficult, respect their boundaries.

This shows that you value their autonomy and well-being.

3. Communication

Effective communication is the cornerstone of resolving relationship issues. When you decide to initiate a conversation about your concerns, choose a time and place where you can talk openly and without distractions.

Additionally, use “I” statements to express your feelings and experiences, as suggested by For example, say something like, “I’ve noticed that we’ve been growing distant, and I’m feeling concerned about the state of our relationship.”

This approach avoids placing blame on your partner and encourages a more productive dialogue. Moreover, active listening is also a crucial component of effective communication.

Thus, when your partner starts sharing their perspective and feelings, listen attentively without interrupting. Additionally, avoid becoming defensive or immediately offer solutions.

4. Act Composed And Cool

According to, when a guy distances himself from you, he expects you to run after him. This includes sending him desperate messages, acting thirsty, and leaving several voicemails.

However, acting calm and composed when he withdraws from you defies his expectations and could help turn the table around. Therefore, it is important to keep your emotions in check and maintain a patient demeanor.

Reacting with anger, frustration, or desperation can escalate the situation and make it more difficult. Moreover, by remaining composed, you create an emotionally safe space within the relationship.

Hence, your partner may rethink his decision and is more likely to feel comfortable opening up and sharing their feelings.

5. Maintain Self-Care

While focusing on the relationship, don’t forget to take care of your emotional and mental well-being. As stated by, rather than overthinking his actions, focus on yourself instead.

Engage in self-care activities that promote your personal growth and happiness. This can include regular exercise, mindfulness practices, and spending time with supportive friends and family.

You can also pursue hobbies and interests that bring you joy. Maintaining your well-being is essential for being a stable and supportive partner.

Frequently Asked Questions

Frequently Asked Questions
1. How To Treat Him When He Pulls Away?

When your partner pulls away in a relationship, it’s important to respond with understanding, empathy, and respect. Respect his need for space, and don’t pressure them to open up or be emotionally available if they’re not ready.

Furthermore, refrain from blaming or criticizing him for his behavior. Focus on your feelings and concerns without assigning fault

2. Should I Be Worried If My Partner Wants A Break When They Pull Away?

A break can be a way for both partners to assess the relationship. However, it’s important to clarify the terms and expectations of the break.

In addition to that, seek mutual understanding and establish boundaries.

3. How Can I Turn The Tables When He Pulls Away?

To turn the tables when he pulls away, start by respecting his need for space and time to process his feelings. Then, initiate an empathetic conversation, actively listen to his perspective, and express your support and commitment to the relationship.

Furthermore, keep your cool and avoid overthinking his actions. Instead, focus on yourself and your emotional well-being.

4. Should I Give Him Space When He Pulls Away?

Yes, giving your partner space is often necessary. Respect their need for emotional and physical distance while expressing your support and willingness to talk when they’re ready.

5. How Can I Approach A Conversation When My Partner Is Distant?

Choose a calm, non-confrontational time to initiate a conversation. Furthermore, use “I” statements to express your feelings and concerns.

Also, actively listen to their perspective without judgment.


Turning the tables when he pulls away is a delicate process that requires empathy, patience, and effective communication. However, it is important to remember that every relationship is unique.

Hence, there are no one-size-fits-all solutions in this situation. Thus, flexibility and adaptability are key in the journey to turning the tables when your partner pulls away.

Fortunately, this article discussed several reasons a guy can distance himself from you or the relationship. We also explored various ways to turn the table in such a scenario.

We hope you’ve found this article to be valuable. If it has been helpful, kindly share it with your friends on social media.

If you’re interested in reading more articles on related topics, don’t hesitate to explore our Relationship page for further insights and information.

References And Further Reading

  1. – 11 Ways to Turn the Tables When He Pulls Away
  2. – Is Your Guy Pulling Away? 11 Smart Ways to Turn the Tables on Him
  3. – What To Do When He Pulls Away – The 8-Step Perfect Strategy
  4. – How To Turn The Tables When He Pulls Away In 7 Fail Proof Steps
  5. – How To Turn The Tables When He Pulls Away: 7 Proven Ways To Make Him Beg
  6. – How to turn the tables when he pulls away
  7. – 21 Common Reasons Why Men Pull Away After Getting Close
  8. – 13 Core Reasons Why Men Pull Away (+ What YOU Can Do To Help)
  9. – 10 Common Reasons Why Men Pull Away & How You Can Stop It

About the Author

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Oluwaseun Bamisile

Oluwaseun is the Lead Content Editor at He holds a National Diploma in Computer Science (currently studying part-time for his Higher National Diploma). An internet geek with a love for automobiles, he writes relationship articles, travel guides, and general life hacks on the site.

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